Total chaos down at the bus station the last two days, with Dulchester Borough Council having decided to demolish it so that they can build an art gallery on the site.

That will work, won't it? After all, all the buses and people trying to catch them will just disappear. Oh hold on... we'd better have some sort of half-arsed temporary bus station with no indication of where each service will depart from.

I'm looking forward to the 'visual arts facility' though. It'll have a giant statue of Queen Boudicca holding up a placard with 'IF YOU DON'T DRIVE A CAR, WE DON'T GIVE A TOSS ABOUT YOU' carved on it in huge letters.

'All art is quite useless,' Oscar Wilde told us. 'Particularly for getting one from town to Boredlingsea departing at 0735, 0800, 0830 and at these minutes past the hour thereafter'.

Got to thank the boys from Dulne Football College for enlivening today's journey with farting and yelling 'Ello darlin!' at female passengers, not to mention playing loud music on a phone so cheap that the distortion was actually louder than the signal.

PM. Improper termination at Norm Station, instead of continuing to Sector General. The driver apologised, saying that he hadn't realised I was upstairs. I allowed us both to retain our dignity by pretending that I believed this.

AM. Scaffolding lorry obstructing the traffic in Ennui Street. Good thinking.

PM. Stuck behind a bin lorry in Queen Dull Street for 5 minutes. Why collect rubbish during the rush hour? And why stop your lorry opposite another parked vehicle, so that no-one else can get past?

Latest summary

Ernold Same attempted 43 homeward bus journeys between April 5th and June 13th. The bus arrived at a range of times between 4 minutes early and 17 minutes late (average 2.5 minutes late with a standard deviation of 4.7 minutes).

Once on board, on 6 occasions (14%) he had to abandon his journey on Ennui Hill due to traffic, and walk the rest of the way home.

On the remaining 37 occasions (86%) the journey time ranged between 32 and 62 minutes, average 42 minutes, standard deviation 7 minutes.

Poor old Ernold Same

The early journey is proving too smooth to provide daily opportunities for why-oh-why posts. Dulchester will henceforth be presented as a weekly report.

AM: A1(2,-2). 1 + 1 cycles. 36 minutes.
PM: A1(0,0). 40# minutes (estimate, walked from Tedium Road again)

AM: A1(0,-2). 1 + 1 cycles. 35 minutes.
PM: A1(0,0). 39# minutes (estimate - lovely weather, so got off in Tedium Road).

AM: A1(1,-2). 36 minutes.
PM: A2(3,-4). 34 minutes.

AM: A1(0,0), 1 + 1 cycles. 37 minutes.
PM: A1(-1,-5). 33 minutes!

AM: A2(1,-2), 1 + 1 cycles. 34 minutes - in heavy rain too. We'll see if this lasts when the schools go back.
PM: A1(-1,0), 40# minutes (estimate - got off in Tedium Road).

AM: A1(-2,-4), 1 + 1 cycles. 34 minutes.
PM: C3(5,6), 46 minutes.

AM: A1(0), 0 + 0 cycles. 34 minutes. Excellent time (and only 2 minutes early at destination).
PM: B3(-2,-3), 36 minutes.

AM: B1(0), 0 + 1 cycles. 37 minutes. Excellent timings from the early run so far. Yes, this is a school holiday week, but last week wasn't.
PM: B1(0), 35# minutes (estimate - got off at Norm Station).

AM: A1(0), 0 + 1 cycles. 37 minutes.
PM: B1(0), 37 minutes.

AM: A1(0), 1 + 1 cycles. 37 minutes.
PM: B3(-3,-4) 34 minutes. I can't condone this turning up early (however convenient it is for me personally).

AM: A1(0), 1 + 1 cycles. 38 minutes.
PM: B3(-4,-5) 32 minutes! Incredible record time achieved, as you can see, by turning up 4 minutes early.

AM: A2(3), 0 + 0 cycles. 37 minutes.
PM: B3(7,9) 58 minutes.

AM: A3(6), 0 + 0 cycles. 41 minutes.
PM: C3(5), 48 minutes.